Most viewed jokes

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?
→ Because an itch in time saves nine.

What kind of bee can't be understood?
→ A mumble bee!

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?
→ By reading street signs.

Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.

- Don't waste your time - Pat hollered.

- The rifle is not loaded.

- I can't wait - Mike shouted back.

- The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!

What should you buy if your hair falls out?
→ A good vacuum cleaner!

A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair.

- Haircut, sir? - asked the barber.

- No, just change the oil, please!

Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you for a green rabbit.

Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?
→ They're used to people 'goblin' them!

What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water?
→ Open your watch: drink from the spring, and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy:

- Do these turkeys get any bigger?

The stock boy replied:

- No ma'am, they're dead.