Most viewed jokes

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, The French captured an English major.

Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked:

- Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
→ An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse?
→ Try picking them up!

- The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.

- And did he?

- Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common?
→ Someone's going to lose their trailer...

One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.
The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend:

- My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
→ It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

What do you call a blonde that can suck a golfball through a water hose?
→ Sweetheart!