Most viewed jokes

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.

- Why so glum, Chum? - asked the kindly stranger.

- If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds.

- Aaah! - he said.

- We're right over my homeland.

- How can you tell? - asked the American.

- I can feel the cold air - he replied.

A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds.

- Aah, we're right over my homeland - he said.

- How do you know that? - asked the Russian.

- I can feel the heat of the desert.

Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds.

- Aah, we're right over New York.

The Russian and the African were amazed.

- How do you know all of that? - they exclaimed.

The American pulled his hand up.

- My watch is missing.

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.

The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.

The tribesman began to speak:

- woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h.

- That's amazing - exclaimed the father.

- You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground?

- No - said the old tribesman.

- They just ran over me five minutes ago!

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
→ Raining elephants!

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse?
→ Try picking them up!

What dog would you want on your American football team?
→ A golden receiver!

What do you call an alcoholic dog?
→ A whino!

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
→ A sausage dog!

Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street?
→ They were arch enemies.

- The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.

- And did he?

- Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.