Harry approached a prostitute and asked:
- How much for a blow job?
- Hundred Bucks.
- OK - he said and began to jerk off.
- What the hell are you doing that for?
- For hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy one, do you?
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said:
- I did that by accident.
She replied:
- I know that, daddy.
He replied:
- How'd you know?
The girl said:
- Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
→ He ate himself.
What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?
→ The deceased!
What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk?
→ I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
Collection Litter by Phil D Basket
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
- Sorry I can't serve you - states the barman.
- Why not?! - asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
- You're under 18 - replies the barman.
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
→ Shoot the lawyer twice.
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
→ Because red means stop.
