Most viewed jokes

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?
→ A crashing bore.

- Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu, sir?

- Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list.

- William: May I have some money for the man crying outside?

- Mum: What crying man?

- William: The one that's crying: Ice cream! Ice Cream!

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up.

- Woman: Quick! My husband is back!

Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think:

- Shit! But I am the husband!

Marriage is a three ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

Why is the letter N the most powerful letter?
→ Because it is in the middle of TNT.

A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn't make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied:

- When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same way.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Attila

- Attila who?

- Attila you no lies!