Most viewed jokes

How does a skeleton call her friends?
→ On a telebone.

Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes.

- What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice - she maliciously remarked.

- Are they real?

- Yes - nodded Lady Peel.

- Of course - the dowager declared:

- you can always tell real pearls by biting them. May I try?

- Gladly - Lady Peel replied.

- But remember, Duchess, you can't tell real pearls with false teeth.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
→ David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested?
→ Charged with battery!

What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
→ A yeaster bunny!

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?
→ Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race.
→ The American people.

You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you?
→ They get elected.

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said:

- I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, 'Vote Democratic.'

His opponent said:

- I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, 'Vote Democratic.'