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As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

- America - the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.

- She's not from the States.

- Yes I am. - said the wife. He looked at her and asked:

- Is he your husband?

- Yes. - she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered.....

- I'll give you 100 camels for her.

The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied:

- she's not for sale.

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied:

- I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.

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There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him:

- Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying:

- She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!

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A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander.

- Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them, - instructed the lawyer.

The witness hesitated:

- But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear, - she protested.

- Then, - said the attorney, just whisper them to the judge.

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