Most viewed jokes

- Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?

- Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

- Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?

- Motorist: I'm in a car pool.

Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian?
→ He couldn't stop eating swedes.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?
→ Baked Beings.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him.

- Do you mind if I throw him a bit? - said the man to the lady.

- Not at all - she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.

How do we know that hamburgers love classic music?
→ They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!

Who Saw Him Go? by Wendy Leeve

How do you drown a blonde?
→ When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants.

What is 74 to a blonde?
→ 69 plus VAT

What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other?
→ An air mattress.