Most viewed jokes

Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
→ No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?
→ The beans keep slipping through the grill.

O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.

Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

- Please, God - he implored - let it be blood!

A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said:

- You know you really need help.

- Yes I do - said the elephant, - get this kid off my foot!

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying:

- What's up, Doc? What's up, Doc?

→ Check for bugs in your system.

- Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly!

- Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
→ A petticoat!

- Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking

- Do you drink a lot?

- Not really - I spill most of it!

What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
→ When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

Why is a blonde like Australia?
→ They're both down under, and no one cares.