Most viewed jokes

- My brother's just opened a shop.

- Really? How's he doing?

- Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.

Grow Your Own Vegetables by Rosa Carrotts

What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
→ Double-dumb.

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ Married.

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?
→ No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says:

- Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says:

- Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load.

He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says:

- Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.

The trucker looks at her and finally he says:

- Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck.

These two blondes walk into a building.
You'd think one of them would have seen it.

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all the W's.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
→ The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.

When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde:

- I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat.

The blonde replied:

- Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York.

The attendant said:

- That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat.

The blonde responded again:

- I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York.

This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.

The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.

The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move.

He said:

- I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York.