Guest
Conservative Defined Again
What's a conservative?
→ A liberal who made it through adolescence.
Most viewed jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Guest
Oversize Motorcycle
What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs?
→ A hog hog.
Guest
Oldest Inhabitant
An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village, and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant.
- Well, sir - replied the villager:
- we ain't got one now. He died last week.
Guest
Praise The Lord
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout:
- PRAISE THE LORD!
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout:
- There ain't no Lord!!
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted:
- PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted:
- PRAISE THE LORD.
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said:
- Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't.
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said:
- PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!
Guest
Ray Meets A Monster
What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster?
→ He became an ex-Ray.
Guest
Monster's Sore Throat
How did the monster cure his sore throat?
→ He spent all day gargoyling.
Self-Esteem Advice
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.
- Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this.
- What's the problem? - the docotor inquired.
- Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.
- My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you.
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.
- Did my advice not work? - asked the doctor.
- It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women.
- So, what's your problem?
- I don't have a problem - the man replied.
- My wife does.
Guest
Obsessive-Compulsive Lightbulb
How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.
Guest
Man In The Forest
If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Guest
Cheating On You
How can you tell if a man is cheating on you?
→ He has a bath more than once a month.