Most viewed jokes

What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
→ An e-mergency.

Who runs the 100 acre wood website?
→ www.innie the pooh.

How did the flea learn to use the internet?
→ He had to start from scratch.

What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch?
→ A cuckoo clock.

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says:

- Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says:

- Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry.

She immediately replies:

- The red-head in the middle.

- That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?

- I don't like her.

Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
→ He was booed off stage.

Why are oranges like bells?
→ You can peel (peal) both of them.

- Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of?

- Pupil: A pear.

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.