Most viewed jokes

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
→ A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed.
He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds.
When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was:

- Yes.

Asked how she used it, she said:

- To assist sexual intercourse.

The interviewer was amazed.
He said:

- I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?

- Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?
→ The cold shoulder.

- Well, children - said the cannibal cooking teacher.

- What did you make of the new English teacher?

- Burgers, ma'am.

Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst

Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
→ She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

- Grandma, is it exciting being 99?

- It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

What kind of bird lays electric eggs?
→ A battery hen!

- My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word.

- What's that?

- Ouch!

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
→ The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.