Most viewed jokes

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
→ Getting it to fit over a bucket!

How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight?
→ Someone stole all his money.

Why is stupid monster like a jack-o'-lantern?
→ They both have empty heads.

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they're stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months.

As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did.

When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said:

- This might hurt a little more than I thought.

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says:

- I don't have a headache!

He says:

- Aha!

What are spiders webs good for?
→ Spiders!

- Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

- Customer: No.

- Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.

Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari?
→ He was a big-game haunter!

What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
→ Ban-she, ban-she!