Most viewed jokes

Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing?
→ He liked to swing his weight around.

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
→ They never know when to come in.

What aftershave do monsters wear?
→ Brute.

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister.

- Would it be right, - he asked, - for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?

- Absolutely not! - replied the pastor.

- In that case, - said the young man, - I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July.

A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked:

- Will you buy booze?

The bum said:

- No.

The man asked:

- Will you gamble it away?

The bum said:

- No.

Then the man asked:

- Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?

A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger:

- Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident.

The stranger says:

- If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?

The guy replies:

- Oh, I've got gambling money.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cass

- Cass who?

- Cass more flies with honey than vinegar!

If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what would you have?
→ A ding-dong King Kong.

Why are frogs no good at websurfing?
→ Computers have them toad-ily confused.