Most viewed jokes

What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
→ About seven miles an hour.

- Doctor, doctor! - said the panic-stricken woman.

- my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he's swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?

- Quite simple - said the doctor calmly.

- You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband's mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite, haul it out.

- Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I'll go around to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod's head.

- What do you want a cod's head for?

- Oh- I forgot to tell you. I've got to get the cat out first!

A man got on a plane and sat next to a blonde, after sitting for awhile she sneezed, took out a tissue and whipped her box. The man not knowing her said nothing and went about his business. After about 3 or 4 minutes she sneezed again and, the same thing, whipped her box. Finally, the man got the nerve and asked:

- what was wrong?

She said that every time she sneezes she has an orgasm.

- Oh! - the man said, are you taking anything for it?

- Yes - she said - black pepper!

Two cannibals were having lunch.

- Your wife makes a great soup.

- Yes! But I'm going to miss her terribly.

Why do hamburgers make good baseball players?
→ They're great at the plate!

Dancing at the Party by Hans Neesanboompsadaisy

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
→ Pregnant!

Why did the blonde burn her ear?
→ The phone rang while she was ironing!

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
→ When it's been sliced.

What do confused owls say?
→ Too-whit-to-why?