Most viewed jokes

A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

- Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

- Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live.

Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order.

- Oh yes, I've done that - said the old gentleman.

- I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life.

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation:

- This is marvelous, - said the journalist.

- What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?

Replied the Kuwaiti woman:

- Land mines

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Asia

- Asia who?

- Asia mum in?

What's a cow's favourite love song?
→ When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.

Two friends:

- I heard that you have founded a musical band.

- Yes, it is a quartet.

- How many are you?

- We are three.

- Three?

- Me and my brother.

- You have a brother?

- No, why do you ask?

What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
→ They fasten their sheet (seat) belts.

What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink?
→ Gravi-tea!

What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating?
→ Finding half a worm.