Most viewed jokes

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bunny

- Bunny who?

- Bunny thing is, I've forgotten now!

What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by swallowing 100 pain killers?
→ After two he began to feel better.

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.

Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.

The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.

Next it was the Newfoundlander's turn to pick how he was to be executed.
He said:

- I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me.

- Every time I tell my English Setter to stop barking, it never does!

- What does it do?

- It just stands on its back two legs and quotes Shakespeare!

- What?

- Yeah, it says:

- To bark or not to bark that is the question! and keeps on barking!

What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?
→ Labs!

- Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

- Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

- Patient: What happened?

- Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

- Patient: Give me the bad news first.

- Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

- Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

- Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

Why aren't burgers too good at basketball?
→ Too many turnovers!

What kind of baseball do burgers play?
→ Ketchup baseball!

The Untamed Tiger by Claudia Armoff

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
→ Her IQ goes up!