Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, "Uh-oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!
What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?
→ Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.
- Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
- New Recruit: Call for backup!
Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read:
- The 10 Most Wanted.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
- Yes, - said the policeman, - the detectives want him very badly.
So Little Tommy asked, while tugging on the man's belt:
- Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?
The teacher was furious with her son:
- Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig.
The boy said nothing.
- Well! Do you know what a pig is?
- Yes, Mom - said the boy.
- The offspring of a swine.
What kind of tie does a pig wear?
→ Pig's tie!
Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?
→ He loved to sing:
- Oinkers Aweight
Why do pigs have flat snouts?
→ From running in to trees.
Why can't there be a Santa Pig?
→ Pigs don't fit in chimneys.
What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?
→ He ate it quickly, before the others could ask him to share.
