Most viewed jokes

What asks no question but demands an answer?
→ A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
→ When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.

Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly?
→ They squealed on each other.

The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host.
What happened?
→ He turned out to be a big boar.

What did the big, hairy monster do when he lost a hand?
→ He went to the second-hand shop.

How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper?
→ The elevator was broken!

What's the fastest cake in the world?
→ Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

- Congratulations - says the nurse to the new parents.

- What will you name the baby?

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says:

- Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!

- Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing.

- I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!