A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?"
"About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly.
"NO!" exploded the teacher.. "I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?"
"Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says.. "I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!"
Who makes a million dollars a day?
→ Someone who works in a mint.
A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
- Nothing, - said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again:
- Seriously, what's wrong?
- Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as Thank you.
- Why should I? - he said. - Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift.
- Yes, - she said, - but I'm their real mother.
This morning I felt that today was going to be my lucky day. I got up at seven, had seven dollars in my pocket, there were seven of us at lunch and there were seven horses in the seven o'clock race - so I backed the seventh.
- Did it win?
- No, it came seventh.
Your so bald your bald
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
→ Hey, what's eating you?
What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?
→ The cast-a-net.
- I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead.
- That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!
Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert.
When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says:
- Hold still Abdul, it might be sand.
A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization.
Ghandi replied:
- I think it would be a good idea.
