Guest
Another Vampire Junkie
What do you call a vampire junkie?
→ Count Drugula.
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Guest
Cheaper Rates
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.
- What's the matter? - asked Moody.
- Are you in trouble?
- No! - said Crumm.
- What do you want, then?
- Nothing!
- Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night? - asked Moody.
- Cause! - said the other redneck.
- the rates is cheaper!
Guest
Man Before Woman
Why did God create man before woman?
→ He didn't want any advice.
Guest
Pellet Court
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
→ In a pellet court!
Guest
Landing A Young Wife
The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man's oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?" The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"
Guest
Snap, Crackle and Pop
What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
→ A firefly with a short circuit!
Guest
Stranded With a Genie
Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water, they were beginning to lose heart.
Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said:
- I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true.
Friend number one got excited. He said:
- I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other, surrounded by music, food, and beautiful women.
Instantly he was gone, his wish granted.
Friend number two smiled and said:
- I wish I was back home right now with my wonderful wife and our two small children, at our log cabin in the woods sitting in front of the fire and singing Christmas carols together.
Just like that, he disappeared.
The genie asked the remaining man:
- And what do you wish for?
He answered:
- Gee, I wish I had my buddies back to help me decide...
Guest
Vietnamese Cookbook
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook?
→ 100 way to wok your dog.
Guest
Vampire Patient
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.
- Necks please!
Guest
Sister the Elevator
- Doctor, Doctor! My sister thinks she's an elevator.
- Tell her to come in.
- I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor.