Most viewed jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?
→ He heard they were having upside-down cake!

- Were any famous men born on your birthday?

- No, only little babies.

What is a polygon?
→ A dead parrot!

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?
→ Cot-on-wool.

- It can't go on! It can't go on!

- What can't go on?

- This baby's vest - it's too small for me.

What's yellow and always points to the north?
→ A magnetic banana.

The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

A young lady is in the hospital for an operation.

She says:

- Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?

He says:

- You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
→ One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

When God made man, he made him out of string.
He had a little left, so he left a little thing.

When God made woman, he made her out of lace.
He didn't have enough, so he left a little space.