Kids Jokes — most commented jokes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked:

- Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?

- Yup, shore am!

- How much does he weigh now?

The proud father answered:

- Ten pounds.

The bartender said:

- Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds.

The proud Texas father said:

- Jest had him circumcised!

How does a baby ghost cry?
→ "Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"

Why does a mother carry her baby?
→ The baby can't carry the mother.

Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?
→ Because they can't dress themselves.

Little Johnny's next door neighbors had a baby.

Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.

He said:

- Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home.

- I promise not to mention his ears at all - said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said:

- Oh What a Beautiful little baby.

The mother said:

- Thank you very much, Little Johnny.

He then said:

- this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?

The Mother said:

- why, yes Johnny... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.

Little Johnny said:

- well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!

How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None, They don't make Pampers small enough.

- Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?

- Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?
→ Egyptian dummies.

- Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?

- Yes, that's right.

- Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.