Random joke from this category
A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark.
- Hello, Jenny, - said the neighbour.
- Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed?
- How would I know? - asked Jenny.
- I haven't got any little girls.
Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. 'There's lots of room now,' he said.
- You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.
- Oh, Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side.
What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?
→ Cot-on-wool.
- I don't think my Mom knows much about children.
- Why do you say that?
- Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy!
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.
- What's wrong? - asked his mother.
- Do people really come from dust, like they said in church? - he sobbed.
- In a way they do - said his mother.
- And when they die so they turn back to dust?
- Yes, they do.
The little boy began to cry again:
- Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going.
- Monster: I'm so ugly.
- Ghost: It's not that bad!
- Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.
Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said:
- I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.
- Oh yeah - said the other.
- what was she like?
- Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.
The other said:
- Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like?
- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?
- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.
- Johnny, how many times have I told you - said his mother, it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.
- OK - said Johnny, why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch?
