Random joke from this category
A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker:
- What do you think you're doing? - she demanded.
- I'm just entertaining the baby - explained Tommy.
- Where is the baby? - asked his Mum.
- Under the bath.
- Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door?
- Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy.
- Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off.
Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
→ Because it's a nappy time.
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day:
- Well, Skip - said the scout - Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.
- Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch!
- Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.
- Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please?
- But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!
- Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.
- Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?
- I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?
- Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin
Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.
- It can't go on! It can't go on!
- What can't go on?
- This baby's vest - it's too small for me.
Why did you drop the baby?
→ Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.
