Random joke from this category
Three guys are discussing women.
"I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.
The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass."
He asks the third guy, "What about you?"
"Me? I prefer to see the top of her head."
What's the best thing about a blow job?
→ The 15 minutes of silence!
How do you make love to a fat girl?
→ Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.
Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant?
→ She blew them both...
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
→ Just when it's getting interesting they are finished until next time...
Why do Black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
→ To stop the snoring before it starts..
Why do they put strings on tampons?
→ So you can floss after you eat!
ring ring
"Hello?"
Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?"
"I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered huskily, "...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until morning."
"Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that from two hello's?"
There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"
Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you."
10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock... 12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom.
Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.
"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.
"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
- Doctor, I just can't undress in front of you.
- All right, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through.
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"
"Put them on the chair, on top of mine."
