Women Jokes — best jokes

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this |<---------------------->| is 12 inches.

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.

After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch.

The first woman said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me."

The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me."

The third lady slid down the bar stool.

At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"

"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"

My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!

So I fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.

Man to a woman: Do you know what the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?

Woman: No.

Man: Let's have lunch sometime...

How can you tell if your girlfriend is frigid?
→ When you open her legs the lights go on.

What two things in the air will get a woman pregnant?
→ Her legs.

What is the similarity between a woman and a washing machine?
→ They both leak when they're fucked!

How can you tell when your girlfriend's horny?
→ You stick your hands in her panties and it feels like you're feeding a horse.