Travel Jokes — best jokes

My dad is stupid.
He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car.

What car do insects drive?
→ A Volkswagen automobile.

How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?
→ Put him in the front.

Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down.

Both women got out and opened up the front of the car.

"Oh, Maud," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!"

"Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."

What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire?
→ A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?
→ One trains the mind, the other minds the train.

What do you call a witch who drives really badly?
→ A road hag.

Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?
→ He had to keep track of everything!

- Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.

- Ghost: Why don't you take a train.

- Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?
→ They only run a skeleton service.