Travel Jokes — best jokes

For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America.
While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, "This was the most wonderful gift I could have asked for on our 25th anniversary. I can't wait to hear what you have in mind for our 50th anniversary!" Her husband leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and said, "I'm going to come back and get you"

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon.

The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see."

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman?!?!?"

The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

"America," the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.
"She's not from the States."

"Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he your husband?" "Yes." she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered..... "I'll give you 100 camels for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?
→ By Bony Express.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train.

The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."

The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."

Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...

How to fleas travel?
→ Itch hiking!

Where do bees go on holiday?
→ Stingapore!

- What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

- He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel?
Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.

What do Filipinos call Canada?
→ Upper U.S.