Sport Jokes — best jokes

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
→ So that they can pack the defence!

- Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player.

- Fan: Why's that?

- Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
→ They might be cheetahs!

Why was the struggling manager seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club.

"Were the crowd not behind you," asked the reporter.

"They were right behind me all right," said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball?
→ A bouncing baby boa!

The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11."
"11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred.
"What kind of counting is that?" asked the teacher
"Who's counting?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.

Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

- Father: I hear you skipped school to play football

- Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

- Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.

- Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."

- Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?