Situations — best jokes

Why did the cannibal live on his own?
→ He was fed up with other people.

What is a bus?
→ A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?
→ It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

- Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel?

- I should say not, on my salary!

Does this bus stop at the river?
→ If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.

Do buses and trains run on time?
→ Usually, yes.

No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.

- Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today?

- No. Is there a strike?

- No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

- Conductor, this bus was very slow!

- Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!

Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself?
→ Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the bus.

- Passenger: Does this bus go to London?

- Conductor: No.

- Passenger: But it says London on the front.

- Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!