Situations — best jokes

- Waiter, please close the window.

- Why, is there a draft?

- Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

- May I please have a glass of water?

- Why, are you thirsty?

- No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

- Could I have a glass of water?

- To drink?

- No, I want to rinse out a few things.

- Why is this sandwich half eaten?

- I didn't have time to finish it.

- Why don't you have doggie bags?

- That would be cruelty to animals.

- Why don't you eat here, waiter?

- Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compound the felony.

- Why doesn't your menu list prices?

- We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

- Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

- Because nothing about this food is special.

- Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

- We can dream, can't we?

- Waiter, this food is repeating on me.

- Good, we love repeat business.