Sex Jokes — best jokes

This male prostitute contracted leprosy.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

Definition of bad lover:
An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

Why is sex like money in the bank?
→ Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.

- How am I doing? He asks.

- Three knots, she replies.

- Three knots? What's that mean?

- You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back.

How do you know you're leading a sad life?
→ When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, "how much?" she replies, "$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up." He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, "it's my hairdresser's fee!"

An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the beginner if she had any questions.

- Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked.

- The same as the short ones, honey.

Did you know there are serial number on condoms.........

No?.

I guess you didn't roll them down far enough.

Did you hear about the call girl who accidentally made two appointments at the same time?
→ She managed to squeeze them both in.