Sex Jokes — best jokes

Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Just hold it between your knees.

Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what's been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She's fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"

What is a man's idea of protected sex?
→ A padded headboard.

Did you know Sex is a crime?
→ Its a misdemeanor - The more I miss de meaner I get..

How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
→ She unties you.

What do you do in case of fallout?
→ Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

Do you know why it's called sex?
→ Because it's easier to spell than Uhhhhh..oooohh...

Ahhhhhh....

AIIEEEEEEE!!!

How is sex like air?
→ It's no big thing unless you aren't getting any.

Do you know what a Yankee is?
→ Same as a quickie, except you're by yourself

A guy's fingering his girlfriend.

She says, "Would you take off your ring? It's hurting me."

He says, "That's not my ring...

It's my wristwatch."