Sex Jokes — best jokes

Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
→ They both have, "incert Bill"!

How big is Bill Clinton's Penis?
→ Not as big as Hillary's

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth...

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.

- Hillary: So have you found dating to be a fulfilling experience?

- Chelsea: It's okay..but i don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.

- Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?

- Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.

What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?
→ The white house's pool table

What does Bill say to prospective interns?
→ "Haven't I cum across your face before?"

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
→ An insurance company.

What the best way to get a guy to stop smoking after sex?
→ Fill his water bed with gasoline.

There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick.

The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.

The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl over there? Bam. Got her."

On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
→ Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.