Random joke from this category
Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.
'Teddy,' he called, 'how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being.'
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
'That's better,' said his father. 'Now will you always come down stairs like that?'
'Suits me,' said Teddy. 'I slid down the bannister.'
- Dad: Why is your January report card so bad?
- Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!
Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father?
→ They called him Dad!
Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner.
"Hey!" she announced. "This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!"
"You put a stop to that right now," he shouted.
"That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!"
Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage.
"Sir," he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and"
"See here, young man," interrupted the parent, "when my daughter needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."
During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy.
As they sat watching articles float along with the water, they noticed a baseball cap float by. Suddenly, the cap turned and came back, then turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, it turned again and came back.
"Do you see that baseball cap?" said the girl. "First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back."
"Oh, that's my dad," replied the boy. "This morning he said that come hell or high water, he was going to cut the grass today."
Bentley and his wife and son were sitting at the dinner table when the boy suddenly blurted out, "Gee, you're dumb, Mom. You don't know anything."
"Now, son," scolded Bentley, "you musn't be picky about your mother's little faults."
"Dad," said Rickey, "what is electricity?"
"Uh," replied his father, "I don't really know too much about electricity."
A few minutes later the boy said, "How does gas make the engine go?"
"Son, I'm afraid I don't know much about motors."
"Dad," said the boy, "what is anthropology?"
"Anthropology?" The father frowned. "I really don't know."
"Gee, Dad, I guess I'm making a nuisance of myself."
"Not at all, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything."
Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?"
"Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"
"Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions," said the father. "I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions when I was a boy."
"Perhaps," said the boy, "you'd've been able to answer some of mine."
