Random joke from this category
Ten Recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.
"Hey johnson!" yelled the drill instructor, "those are the ugliest shoes i've ever seen!"
"Yes, sir," the young man answered.
"Those shoes are really really ugly, right?" hollered the D.I again.
"Yes, sir!"
"And that hair- dont they have barbershops where you came from?"
"Yes, sir," answered the recruit.
"So why didnt you get a haircut?"
"I was saving up for shoes, sir!"
"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man traveling in her compartment.
"I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.
"Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!"
- Scoutmaster: Tenderfoot, how did you get that black eye?
- Tenderfoot: Sir, I was hit by a guided muscle with a knucklear warhead!
How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
→ Turn off the carousel.
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
Military training: During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the soldier answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, 'Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' --- that did it!"
What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?
→ Kitchy-kitchy-koo.
A soldier goes into the hospital for surgery after being wounded in battle.
Waking up from the anesthesia he sees his doctor standing at his bedside. "So tell me Doc, what did you do to me?"
The doctor says, "Son, we have some good news and some bad news."
"Yeah, what?" replies the patient.
"Well the good news is that we were able to save your private parts."
"Yes, that is good news Doc, but what about the bad news?"
"We put them under your pillow!"
What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the bathroom?
→ The ZIP Code.
