Military Jokes — best jokes

Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
→ So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
→ To promote off-shore drilling.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
→ It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?
→ He's afraid of the draft.

Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
→ So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election?
→ It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!

What's Clinton's favorite baseball team?
→ The Dodgers.

How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]?
→ He's got his jogging suit on.

What does Clinton do to lose weight?
→ Runs away from the draft.

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not at all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way!"