Medicine — best jokes

- Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

- No change yet.

- Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

- How do you feel?

- A little down in the mouth.

- Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?

- Sell!

- Have you ever had this before?

- Yes.

- Well, you've got it again.

- My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

- A shoebox?

- Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

- Tell me about your problem.

- I just did, didn't I, you stupid bastard!!!!!

- I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?

- Don't worry, you won't be able to see the difference.

- Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!

- So, since when did you have this problem?

- What problem?

- Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?

- What pills?

- Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?

- Not really. It will just seem longer.