Random joke from this category
One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"
What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now!
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Why don't men do laundry?
→ Cause the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
How do you scare a man?
→ Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts," she said.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
→ A widower.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
→ After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What's a man idea of helping with the housework?
→ Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?
→ Under the soap
