Random joke from this category
An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
- She: Do you think of me when you're away darling?
- He: Yes honey, I always bare you in mind.
The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities -- Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god of doors and beginnings. Everyone overdid it, more or less. Ceres at one point was staggering and turning in circles; Janus, equally submerged, was trying to dance with her. Bacchus feared that the pair might fall over, so he went to steady them. .... This marked the first time that a whirled Ceres was held with a double-header.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside????
→ K9P.
What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory?
→ Two Test Tickles
What's brown and sticky?
→ A stick.
What is the rallying cry of the International Dyslexic Pride movement?
→ Dyslexics Untie!
Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit.
- Do you have anything to declare?
- No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all.
- How long do you plan to stay?
- Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks.
- By the way, where did you learn English?
- From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio.
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
