Kids Jokes — best jokes

Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him?
→ Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated.

How do man-eating monsters count to a thousand?
→ On their warts.

The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway.

What do you call a huge, ugly, slobbering, furry monster with cotton wool in his ears?
→ Anything you like - he can't hear you.

- First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out.

- Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!

What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater?
→ You miss most of the film.

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?
→ Thanks, I needed that.

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?
→ Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

What do you do with a green monster?
→ Put it in the sun until it ripens!

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?
→ Take his spade away.