Kids Jokes — best jokes

- What's the matter, son?

- The boy next door said I look just like you.

- What did you say?

- Nothing, he's bigger than me!

Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus?
→ He ended up in a flea circus!

A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating a bag of chocolates. An old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won't live very long; indignantly the kid says:

- Oh yeah, my grandfather lived to be 104 years old.

The old man replies:

- I'm sure he did, kid, but it wasn't from eating all that chocolate.

- Oh no sir - says the kid.

- it was by minding his own business!

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

- How did that happen? - gasped her mother.

- It wasn't easy - admitted the young lady.

- but three girls helped me catch him!

Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him.

- Mama! - yelled the boy.

- A gator jus' bit off mah foot!

- Which one? - called his mother from inside the cabin.

- How the hell should Ah know?! - he shrieked.

- They all look alike to me!

- I had a funny dream last night, Mom.

- Did you?

- I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"

- Fred: Where does the new kid come from?

- Harry: Alaska.

- Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

- Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak.

- Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why?

- Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.