Festival Jokes — best jokes

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
→ A runny bunny.

What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
→ Deviled eggs!

Why do pigs love Halloween?
→ There's lots of hogsgobblin.

Why do pigs like February 14th?
→ They get lots of Valenswines.

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?
→ It was Saint Patrick's Day.

What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
→ "Pleased to eat you!"

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
→ He was exceeding the feed limit!

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door.

The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker:
"Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.

At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation.

His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams"