Dumb Jokes — best jokes

- Pigs don't look very smart to me.

- Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer's ear?

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached.

While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.

When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.

When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

He said, "The first one was a girl."

- The mother: What did you name her?!?

- Brother: Denise!

- The Mom: Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?

- Brother: The second one was a boy.

- The Mom: Oh, and what did you name him?

- Brother: Denephew.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
→ It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
→ Drool.

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
→ When the other tenors notice.

How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie?
→ She's the one sleeping with the writer.

Why is stupid monster like a jack-o'-lantern?
→ They both have empty heads.

What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?
→ The candle is a thousand times brighter!

What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son?
→ He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.

One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."