Dumb Jokes — best jokes

- Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?

- Vanderkron: I wouldn't go to these places no more!

Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?

- Loomis: Does your dog have a license?

- Fenton: Hell, no! I do all the drivin'.

- Say, your house is burning.

- That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Change it to what?

- Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder?

- Harry: What did the sign say?

- Fred: Stop.

Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player?
His horse drowned . . .

A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, "Don't dive - there's no water in that pool!"
"That's all right," said the man.
"I can't swim!"

How do you confuse an idiot?
→ Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick.

- Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in the whole school.

- Mother: That's my son.

- Teacher: Oh! I'm so sorry.

- Mother: You're sorry?