Dumb Jokes — best jokes

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?
→ Shot it!

Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep?
→ Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.
My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"
Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?
→ He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
→ Tell him a joke when he's a baby!

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
→ So he could tell the time at night!