Dirty Jokes — best jokes

Why are blondes like corn flakes?
→ Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
→ "Thanks for the refill!"

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
→ It swells at night.

Why was the blondes' belly button sore?
→ Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
→ They both wriggle when you eat them.

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
→ "Have another beer."

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
→ Her ankles.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
→ The joystick is wet.

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong.

"I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted."

"Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?"

"Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a 'thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: 'You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"