Random joke from this category
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked.
- Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.
"You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.
"Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"
A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off. As he's groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat.
She says, "That's it! That's it!"
He says, "It can't be. I part mine on the side."
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick?
→ Nothing. They all make woman's eyes water.
What's a real mate?
→ Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one... when he returns.
How do you tell two KKK members apart?
→ Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....
Why did the Priest go to Walmart?
→ He wanted to get boys pants "half" off!
What do a Blonde and KFC have in common?
→ After your done with the breast and the thigh all you have left is a greasy bucket to stick your bone into.
There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him, because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.
He had all this colorful make-up on, and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at, eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son."
Do you know the difference in sugar and Sweet-n-Low????
→ Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah?"
→ About three inches.
